When you are expecting a baby, you experience "pregnancy hormones". I believe there is a similar parallel with adoption!:) I'm just more emotional and sensitive to things lately, and it reminds me of how I felt when I was physically carrying a child. I remember one instance when I was pregnant with our youngest son, a woman came up to me at the mall (seeing I had two other little guys) and said "are you hoping for a girl this time"? Bless her heart. That is a logical, innocent question, I know.:) However, after 3 miscarriages and 6 months of surging hormones, I felt offended. I said "no, not necessarily, we are just hoping for a healthy baby!". That poor woman. She was the recipient of my knee-jerk reaction of frustration.
Well, I've noticed that old, defensive instinct kick in again this week. As we have announced the news to family and friends that we are adopting from Poland, some comments have surprised us. While the vast majority have been supportive and loving, some have not been. This week I've received the following comments: "Why aren't you adopting from the U.S."? "Have you considered adopting an African American child? They really have the greatest need right now". "Do you feel like you will be able to handle an adopted child with your three boys"?
Although it's hurtful, I think the Lord has blessed me this time around with dose of blissful indifference, but it has also opened my eyes to some of the negative thoughts about adoption. I feel like some people are all for adoption, as long as it fits their terms of what a family should look like, or whom they think we should adopt. I believe, in a similar way that God knits together a child in the womb, he also knits together families in only a fashion that He could've ordained. Oprhans are crying out from all corners of the Earth for a loving family. The Lord just happened to lead us to Poland, and that is the short answer. I'm trying to be more gracious this time around than I was with the poor lady at the mall. I realize though, that these "hormones" are just part of the process, and I believe they are validated. I wonder if I'll get "adoption cravings" too? I could go for some Paczki (Poonchkies)!:)
Going private soon.....
12 years ago
Our extended family also has mixed thoughts on our adoption. I haven't told them of our blog yet, some don't know about my 2 loses. Some feel that we already have 3 children that should be enough. Never mind that we are so blessed and we should be willing to open our lives to someone else in need. It's is really something you do for you and you are right to just ignore the others who may not agree.
ReplyDeleteHello!! Can I tell you, I have no children but I have those same adoption emotions surging! It is great to hear someone else mention it. We had a negative comment from someone awhile back, when I was literally weeping, my husband said to me, "Why are you SO upset?" And I realized I was SO PROTECTIVE of this person that did not even exist in my life yet. Since we submitted out dossier, I am having crazy adoption dreams weekly- I'm glad to know I am just suffering from adoption pregnancy issues. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Brooke! I realize your blog entry here was many months ago, but in reading it I couldn't resist the smile across my face and the giggle that came out :) My husband and I are adopting from Ethiopia and we're in waiting list season, as I see you are! What made me delight in reading this was the hormones and boy are those evident at times! It's it amazing how are Savior draws us to our kids even when they are being carried miles away? As you await that precious little one who will become family, I'm praying for some great moments of nesting hormones to find their way to your heart and home. Enjoy the journey!
ReplyDelete