Holiday season, here we come! Every year I shake my head and marvel at how quickly the year has passed. Once again, I can't believe Thanksgiving is just a few days away, and Christmas a month from now. In my faith tradition, we begin the season of Advent this Sunday. It is a time of preparation, reflection, prayer, fasting and anticipation for the arrival of you-know-who! Our Savior. Jehovah Jireh -God Provider. I can't help but think about the parallels as we enter into the season of waiting. As our family waits for news...any news, we continue to prepare our hearts and our home for our blessed baby.
I am somewhat surprised by how hard it's been for me to be detach from thinking about the adoption. I thought that once the dossier was submitted, we could just focus on everyday life and ordinary, no-waiting-for-the-mailman days. I also thought the timing was nice, because I wouldn't be stressed about paperwork over the holidays. It hasn't quite worked that way. Every gift catalog that comes in the mail, I think of her. Should we buy her a gift? A dollhouse, a Barbie, a babydoll? How old is she? Does she know that this will be her last Christmas morning she has to wake up without her mommy and daddy and brothers? This Thanksgiving too, she will be missed around our table. She is already a part of our family, born in our hearts and covered in prayer every day. I have never looked a girl's clothing or toys before, but it's impossible not to peek with all of the items on display for Christmas. With 3 boys, my life has been Star Wars and swords and ant farms, so this is new territory. I just wish when I felt more joyful about it, but instead I feel sad. Is that normal? I guess it's just hard with the combination of an unknown timeline, and few details. We knew this was part of the process when we started though, and the payoff will be worth every waiting minute. That is a gift I can celebrate!:)
Going private soon.....
4 years ago