New Chapter, New Territory

 

It's been 3 1/2 months since we picked up our sweet Karolina from the orphanage in Czestochowa, and 8 weeks since she's been home with us.   The many months of waiting,  praying,  and anxious anticipation have given way to a calm rhythm.   The passage of time is a funny thing. Our adoption journey was so intense and emotional, and seemed never-ending at the time, but now it seems like so long ago.  We pray for the families still waiting, and I hope for the same experience, that the sacrifice and waiting are worth every second, and dulled by the joy of what's to come.     I can hardly remember life before Karolina was here, and grafted on to our hearts.  I don't think a day has gone by that I haven't gotten teary-eyed at some point looking at her,    in awe of God's amazing hand in our lives and the fact that she is actually HERE.   

Her personality and development have blossomed over the past month. I need to make a record of specific dates and milestones of her achievements because she is growing so quickly. That being said, since arriving home, our lives have been filled with a flurry of medical assessments, doctors appointments, referrals to specialists and long days in waiting rooms. Sometimes I question if it's all necessary. So much so, that I recently cancelled a scheduled MRI because I just wasn't convinced the need was justified (and after consulting with her specialist).   She was born 6 weeks premature, and with a medical condition that may, or may not affect her brain. At this point, she is not showing any signs of a neurological defect, except for some general delays. So, I seem to vacillate between immense pride in her accomplishments, and fear and worry over her being slightly delayed. When we picked her up she was 11 months old and couldn't sit up on her own, crawl or use a pincher grasp. Now, she's 14 months old and crawling, standing (with help), using her fine motor skills to eat Cheerios and even scooting up the stairs!   

Pretty remarkable in my book. However, her Pediatrician is concerned that she's still not saying any basic words (like "dada").     With her doing so many physical things, I'm not surprised she is behind verbally, and coupled with the heard she only heard Polish until we picked her up...I still have faith she'll communicate normally in her own time.   I just wish I knew of a support group a way to connect with other families who have been, or are going through, the same things. This is new territory and I feel inadequate to understand it all.    I know she is smart, so my gut instinct tells me that with continued love and stimulation she will catch up. But, I would feel forever guilty if I was negligent in an area and missed something that could be corrected with early intervention. Although she is our fourth child, I feel like a novice and have been driven to my knees a lot lately, asking the Lord for wisdom and direction.

                   

To add another twist, our surprise miracle baby is due at the end of next month. So, I'm half expecting to gain a little more confidence, just in time our lives to be shaken up all over again. Ha. :)      I say that with a grateful heart, I just pray for energy and teamwork with Jim to know how to juggle it all. God is good...great is thy faithfulness and rich in kindness is He,  and I trust Him implicitly with all he has blessed us with...crosses and crowns, in drought and abundance. I'm hoping to update this blog a little more now, and can't wait to see the community of Polish adoptive families share good news to come. I know there will be much to celebrate in the coming months and I can't wait to see it all unfold.    

It's Official!

Court proceedings went great and Karolina is now legally our daughter!:)  Overjoyed!!    You can read the recap and see the photos here.

We are Here!

Warmest greeting from Czestochowa, Poland!    My apologies for being MIA on the blog.  I have another  "every day" blog where I have been updating our adventures, but haven't had a chance to update this one.  I was hoping to cover more of the logistical angles here, and I'm hoping to do that this week.   Anyway, we are with our precious Karolina and tomorrow is our court date!   We arrived on Memorial Day weekend and picked her up on Sunday, May 29... "Gotcha Day!"

You can follow our updates  here, and then by clicking "newer entries."   I pray this is an eventful, happy summer for all other waiting families too.  We are REALLY excited for Heidi and her family to meet their new additions in a few days!

Meeting Karolina!

What a whirlwind!   On April 12 we left the states for Poland.  Our trip was nearly 24 hours but we were energized with the realization that we were on our way to our little girl!   We had a layover in Amsterdam and flew into Warsaw where we waited for a driver to take us to the region where Karolina is.  It was a 4 hour drive and gave us a great opportunity to see the sights along the way.   There were so many thoughts going through my mind, most of all the amazing way that God lead us to Poland, so far outside of our little bubble and in a way that only He could've ordained.  Over and over I just kept thanking God for this experience, and Karolina.

Our hotel was clean and nice.   The currency is the Polish zloty, and the exchange rate was very good (as opposed to the Euro).   Magda met us there and we felt we were meeting someone familiar after hearing so much about her from other families!    She was just as delightful as we had hoped.  

After we got cleaned up, she took us straight to the orphanage to meet...(as my heart skipped a beat) our daughter!   When we arrived we met with officials and were impressed with the cleanliness and atmosphere of the room.  They told us about Karolina, I cried and asked questions and then they asked if we would like to meet her.    Are you kidding?!   Jim and I looked at each other with our palms sweating and our knees knocking.   We nervously awaited her arrival until the door finally opened with a little bundle wrapped in a pink blanket.   They unwrapped her...and there SHE WAS!   What a beautiful face!   Her skin was so perfect!   Her cuddly body was so healthy and strong!      

We held her and I prepared myself that she might not look me in the eye or respond with affection.  In our adoption classes, we were told to expect that might happen,  and we understood completely.  However, she DID look me in the eyes AND SHE SMILED!    Here are our first photos together:

In the days ahead we bonded beautifully.  Thanks be to God.   We spent a lot of time together just falling in love. 

 Here is one video where a spontaneous moment made her laugh (and made me cry tears of joy). :)  I will forever cherish this video.  
Our last day was excruciating.   We knew the sooner we went home, hopefully the sooner we would return for her.   However, I never expected to bond with her so quickly, so completely.  We held her, prayed over her and I sang to her, hoping chisel every last detail into my memory for safe-keeping.

  It was devastating to say goodbye.  I didn't sleep for days and had a harder time than I had even expected.   I think the woman on our flight to Amsterdam  may have thought I was losing it.    I was sobbing one minute, and then hysterically laughing because the person next to Jim bit into an apple and shot juice across the isle into his eye and on his face.    I had tears of laughter and sorrow at the same time...it's been a while since that has happened!   Lol.    

It's impossible to adequately convey our gratitude to Lina, Magda, and everyone involved for changing our lives for the better, forever.     There were moments of impatience on my end, and of lack of understanding in the process, but I have learned a lot and have a greater appreciation for the entire journey.        In the beginning we were so fearful of the cost, and although it was a valid concern, I realized then when God calls, God will provide, and He truly has.    Holding her, everything else seemed to fall away, and I realized the things I often place value in, are of little value at all.  Every single penny we spent, and will spend was more than worth it.     Clothes and eating out, vacations and cell phones are all nice, but I would sacrifice it all again in a heartbeat, in order to experience the joy and love that has come with Karolina.     

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change

It's a.....

A beautiful, precious, baby GIRL!    We received the amazing news on Saturday night, March 5.   I wasn't expecting to get a call on the weekend (I'm not sure why) but it caught me off guard and was instantly reduced to tears when Lina told us!    Best of all, I knew it "was her" the moment she told us her name.

From the beginning, we had discussed names.  We thought we had settled on Mary Grace but still left it open to see what her birth name was too.  Around January I started feeling drawn to the name Karolina.   I asked my husband about it, he said he liked it and we could consider it.   I would be running on the treadmill, or praying at church, and the name "Karolina" would come into my mind.   I thought perhaps because it was the feminine version of "Karol" (Pope John Paul II's given name) and maybe I was drawn to that spiritually.   That day, on March 5, I ran into a friend who is from Poland.  She has given us advice and tips regarding traveling to Poland, and Polish culture, and she asked how things were going.   I told her "no news yet" but then asked her if she liked the name Karolina.   Well...later that night when Lina shared the news about our referral, her age, region etc. she also told us her name was: Karolina.    My jaw dropped!   On one hand I couldn't believe it.  On the other hand, I just knew it!    I am awe-struck that God would work down to the detail of a name.  We are humbled and grateful about it all.   So, we definitely will not be changing her name....Karolina it is!:)  

We received word that we would be traveling on April 12 to meet her!   Her birthday is June 30th and she will be a year old.   My heart is jumping for joy!    At the same time, I wish all of us waiting for referrals in our adoption group could receive good news at the same time.  The waiting is hard, and I'm not sure how/why the process works differently for every family, but Lina said it's a God thing, and his timing is always perfect.   I trust that, I just pray so much for everyone to receive "the call" soon.   

    This year has been such a whirlwind already, with my dad being diagnosed with cancer, and some unexpected life changes.   We are so overjoyed about the gift of our daughter though, and can't wait to count her fingers, touch her soft hair, and give her lots of kisses and hugs!    She is loved so much already!   

Old or New, What to Do?

We are now at the point of our adoption where I think we can have a little fun with planning and starting our daughter's room!   I wish I could run out and buy clothes, a car seat, and all things pink, but that will come in time.     We've run into a little dilemma though regarding her bedding.    We do have a nice crib set that we purchased for our youngest son, and it's still in  pretty good shape.   It's a unisex color and we initially purchased for a boy or a girl.    We were all set to use it again until.....I ran across a website with the most frilly, feminine, adorable bedding sets for a baby girl.  I will admit, I had to control my drool.  :)  So, now I am tempted to beg my husband to purchase an overpriced bedding set for our very special little girl.     One on hand, I know it's not being a good steward of our funds, we have pinched every penny and we DO have a perfectly good set already.    On the other hand, she is likely to be our one and only girl and my dreamy side wants to make her room an estrogen oasis (he he).     So, what to do? 
First, here are a few images.   This is what we have already:

This is one of the sweet sets I found at GlennaJean.com

What do you think?   Maybe the whole thing is silly, but I'm still just giddy about having a girl in the house.    I would be curious to hear your comments. 

A Happy Distraction

I just wanted to write with a quick update and share a few new pictures.   We just got back from a weekend trip to Tybee Island, GA and we stopped in Charlotte and met Lina and some new friends!  

First, was our blessed little adventure to the beach.   My husband was born and raised in the south (Florida/Georgia) and although he has come to accept the north, he still has a hard time with the cold at times.  I admire his good attitude, in fact when he was a mail carrier in downtown Green Bay he really enjoyed his walking route, despite the sub-zero temps!   What a trooper. :)  Anyway, every year (usually in March) he gets homesick for the sun and warmer weather.  So, we were all happy when we learned we had a free weekend and could have a little sunny escape.    It was so nice!  Here a few photos from our trip:

It was nice to be buried in something other than snow for a change!:)   Fyi: what a mess to get the sand out of their swim suits!  Lol.

Bike riding was the best!

It was was really a gift to have that time together.  It goes without saying that our little Polish princess was on our minds as we were there too.  As the sun set, I prayed for her.   In the morning as we walked along the beach, my thoughts drifted to the day when I will be able to hold her hand along the shore too.   Which brings me to our second highlight!

We stopped in Charlotte on our way back to meet Lina and Nick at St. Mary's.  When we arrived, we were delighted and surprised to meet Rebekah and Mike and their beautiful daughter Madeline!   What a little star she is!    We had a ball interacting with her, marveling at her charm,  and hearing about their adoption experience.   It was so exciting!    However, in the excitement and the flurry of questions, we forgot to take a picture.   That is not like me, normally I document every possible life moment. ;)   It is marked in our hearts though, the exchange will be one that will be an indelible part of our adoption journey.  It was such a joyful experience to see the pride and happiness they have in their blue-eyed miracle.  It was also great to finally meet Lina and Nick.   I think our boys thought she was an imaginary adoption fairy-godmother until they actually met her!   Ha.  After they left they were excited to know she was a real person, the one who was working so hard to help bring baby sister home.   So, overall it was a lovely meeting.     We are back to the routine now,  but I think we are all still enjoying the afterglow of the weekend.  God is good.